The 10 Worst Alternate History Movies of All Time: A Critical Analysis
Jonah Hex: A catastrophic failure, this DC Comics adaptation is a shambolic mess, lacking tone and narrative coherence. With a meager runtime and chopped-to-bits characters, it's a supercut idea of what a 'Jonah Hex' movie could look like, rather than the actual film.
Red Dawn (2012): A jingoistic Cold War fantasy, this remake lacks the courage of its original convictions. The invading force is too weak to plausibly stage the expansive brigade depicted on screen, and the film's stale arrival due to shelving only adds to its shortcomings.
White Man's Burden: A superficial race-based morality tale, this film indulges in obvious, blundering college-dorm-room-style philosophizing. It flattens centuries of structural harm into an insulting simplicity, offering no engagement with the intellectual ideas hovering on its periphery.
Dracula Untold: An origin story built backward from franchise necessity, this film is more interested in setting up MCU-style sequels than in the individual movie itself. Defanged Dracula and generic coat of paint make it a dreck, deserving better than the Dark Universe.
Wild Wild West: A steampunk reimagining that fails to settle on a tone, this film ping-ponging between buddy-comedy banter, halfhearted romance, and action sequences. It's a late '90s genre disaster, resembling the chaotic fiasco of 'The Island of Dr. Moreau'.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: A historical supernatural horror flick that carries a solemn tone, this film contradicts the inherent absurdity of its central premise. It's a genre-history mashup that seems afraid to have fun with its own premise, lacking the fun and tedium demarcation that separates stupid movies.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: A notorious blockbuster flop, this film adapts a detailed, brainy, meticulously built alternate history. However, under the purview of humdrum Hollywood filmmakers, it misses the mark in achieving the specific cross between cartoony and clever, with an anonymous cast.
Cowboys & Aliens: A genre novelty object, this film brazenly combines two disparate identities of pulp filmmaking. Director Jon Favreau's adaptation loses sight of the genre indulgence, resulting in a straight-laced and unfun movie.
The Great Wall: A fantasy-action movie about a group of European mercenaries, this film dilutes the admirable aspects of both wuxia and Hollywood blockbuster action. Its goofy premise and white-savior implications further diminish its appeal.
Anonymous: A lush movie with a rock-solid cast, this film engages with the idea that Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, was the true writer of Shakespeare's plays. However, its tacky speculation disregards the appeal and sensation of Shakespeare, and its director's other works are not his best.
